"Be Nice or Leave"

Last night and this morning I have had alot on my mind.  Besides the fact that Chado is gone for the week, I have been thinking about myself and how I handle criticism, rejection, and even positive praise.  A few weeks ago in our RCIA Class @ St. Thomas Moore we were asked to receive a compliment and do just that ~ receive the compliment and say only Thank You, instead of spouting out why we were just doing what we do, or where we got our shoes and how much we paid for them or whatever .... just the simple act of receiving something positive isn't always the easiest thing to do.  I am a talker ~ we all know this ~ so just saying thank you was difficult.  In my every day life ~ I think I should try this out, even if the comment isn't positive or praiseful ~ maybe learning to zip it a little more often would help out with some of my self worry and indecisiveness issues.  Maybe yes ~ Maybe no ~ not sure until I apply the concept and actually follow through.

I say all this because recently some things have occurred in my life that make me wonder ~ even as an adult, being rejected for whatever reason still hurts and stings like it used to for me as a child.  OK, maybe not quite as much, but the sting remains.  In our lives, it isn't possible for everyone to like us, to make everyone around us happy or even to be told the truth by everyone.  When some say something to you and then their actions show a different position ~ it hurts and maybe that doesn't change no matter how old we get.  All relationships, including friendships, are tricky and I think I have finally found the catch.  A true friendship may have a rough patch or two, but it doesn't get tricky.  You might disagree or even get angry or frustrated, but the friendship itself is never questioned.  I think even at this age I still long for those relationships, because so many around us seem to say one thing and do another.  This reality of human nature seems to force many of us to keep our guards up and the sad part about it, is that who really wants to live behind that wall?

Life moves on and so do relationships ~ some come, some go and then some real relationships stay.  I guess all I can do is to quit worrying about what others do or say, and start to think and pay more attention to how I can stay.  I've always heard that you can't do wrong and get by ~ that old saying has never been more true in my life than now.

A pizza place in Memphis (The Memphis Pizza Cafe) used to have a sign up that said "Be Nice or Leave".  I am thinking maybe I should find somewhere to post that here in our home.  Wonder if anyone would notice that the sign applied to not only children, but to adults as well?

Maybe I should learn to accept that some people go and that isn't always my fault ~ it might not be any one's fault, and really, why should it matter anyway?  We are who we are and if we try to leave each person a little happier than we found them, then that should be OK.  It should be more than OK ... it should be good and maybe, just maybe, I will learn to live by the words I just typed.

Take care, y'all. 

Oh Monday ~ You Strike Yet Again ......

So, it is Monday after a long holiday weekend and I have to admit that although I dreaded the day, it has gotten off to a pretty good start.  Sierra said on Sunday morning that our Christmas tree was useless here in the living room, since Christmas was over.  I feel like such an "adult" because I have to admit that I am a little glad that all the prep and chaos leading up to the big day is now settling down.  Chad flew out this morning from Kansas City headed to Baltimore and then to Boston for a Women's Basketball Tournament at Dartmouth.  Due to the weather I believe he might get to know the Baltimore Airport very well, since he will probably most definitely be delayed there for quite a while.  This will be his longest trip so far this year ... leaving on Monday and coming home on Sunday.  Celebrating New Year's will be sans Daddy for the monsters ~ by the end of the trip Connor might be speaking even more as he converses with Chad over the phone.

Speaking of Connor, his speech has improved leaps and bounds in the last few months.  Stonehouse and their program is doing wonders for him.  He loves going to "school" and his teachers and staff there are nothing short of amazing.  I am so glad that we were guided in the right direction to test for autism so early ~ at this rate they feel like he might be capable of mainstreaming into a regular kindergarten classroom, and what a blessing that would be.  It was only a few months back when we were begging and hoping that he would use 2 and 3 word phrase; now, at times, we are begging he would hush for just a bit.  He has absolutely no problem voicing his opinion and we are working to stop his favorite phrase of "Oh, My God" since he likes to use it very frequently.  "Oh, My Goodness" obviously doesn't have the same ring for Connor boy, as he continues to be blasphemous on a daily basis.  Can't win 'em all, I suppose.

So, the dishwasher is going, washing machine about to start and cleaning up behind kiddos makes this Monday just like most of the rest.  However, I realize that our family is so blessed to be surrounded by loving family and wonderful new friends that we have made here in Kansas.  As we approach the New Year I am pleased and so happy at where we have come.  Our Catholicism journey is in full swing with classes starting back after the holiday break, our children are healthy & life is overall good to each of us.  I can't lie and say that I am the most pleasant person all the time, but I try a little harder each day.  OK, I should be honest and admit that I try a little harder as often as I can.  Those who know me well understand that the whole cup half full philosophy just isn't my thing.  Don't know that it ever will be, but you have to admit that at least I am honest, even with my cup a little below the half empty line.

Much love to all of you ~ have a wonderful week, y'all!

Potty Training, Christmas Trees & Blood Clots ~ What You Talking About, Newberry?

So ~ I feel like a complete slacker, as I haven't sat down to "blog" in the last few weeks.  It isn't because I didn't have anything to say, because we all know that times where I don't have anything to say are non-existent or very few and far between ~ it has probably been more so because I let so much time pass that I had lots to say and no clue how to put it all down without typing out a novel and a half or so.  Much has happened over the past 3 weeks ~ Riley started using the potty, Connor has decided he likes talking so much that he was kind enough to tell a State Trooper in Craig County, Arkansas "Thank You" as I was being handed a 77 in a 55 speeding ticket, Sierra has turned into a teenager while I was watching and not wanting to look & basketball season is in full swing, which means that for the next 4-5 months my husband will trade being married to me to being married to the Kansas State Wildcats Women's Basketball Team & Staff.  And, before I forget, I am typing this with my left leg elevated, because I currently have a superficial blood clot in my left leg ~ thigh down to the ankle.  Superficial or not ~ it hurts way bad and I would prefer for it to just go away, but I don't think what I prefer or what I want applies in this situation.

As I was going through my morning today, I had a moment that helped me out with my blogging predicament.  Instead of typing out paragraph after paragraph, I decided I would make a list of things that had occurred to me over the time since my last posting.  Not sure that it won't be just as long or even longer, but figured it was worth a shot.  I  can't say that the following listings will all apply to my 3 weeks blog free, but, I can say that at some point lately these topics have crossed my mind.  No guarantees it will be worth reading, but if you know me well enough, well .... lol ... read further if you wish :-) 

• Buying makeup for Sierra bothers me in a real sort of way, even if it is just mascara and blush ~ guess it bothers me because she is growing up and I can't stop it.  However, buying it for her is better than getting ready in the morning and realizing I have to go find my makeup in her room.  I keep forgetting that as a parent, I no longer have anything that belongs to me and only me.  Wait ~ maybe the fabulous appliance known as the dishwasher ~ I think that I am still allowed to be solely responsible for that fascinating piece of modern technology that I load and unload at least once, but usually twice daily.

• Nancy Grace and Wayne Brady both annoy me in a serious way ... not exactly sure why.  Never the less ~ I can't stand listening or looking at either of them.

•  Living so far away from family doesn't get any easier and some days just seems to get worse.  I miss those I love so much, and, I hate that our lives are shared over the telephone and not more up close and personal.

• I love lying on the sofa and looking at our Christmas tree.  Every ornament reminds me of something and the memories that are usually stirred bring a smile.  However, if the ornaments are out of place or not staggered exactly the way I want, then out the door goes the smile until I can fix it the way I envision in my mind that it should be.  Even as I read that, that whole concept of a "perfect" tree bothers me.  How in the world can I expect the tree to be halfway orderly with toddler twins and a home daycare?  LOL .... don't know how in the world, but it still bothers me and I have mentally looked back at the tree just now and see 2 or 3 spots that I need to fix before I can be mentally prepared to enjoy the memories I love to remember.

•  I love that Riley working on being fully potty capable means buying less diapers.  On the flip side of that thought, I dread the day that both she and Connor are so big that I throw away the last pull ups/diapers we have and grab onto the reality that the phase of diapers and wipes in our lives is over.  Don't get me wrong, though .... I love the idea that the $25-30 a week spent on diapers can be spent on something else ... like dinner, for instance.  Not that I don't like to cook ~ just way too tired and entirely too lazy to want to cook dinner and do dishes every night of the week.  Even 5 nights a week ... or 4 seems like more than I want to do.  Call me what you want ~ Wendy's, Taco Bell, "Donald's" or takeout from McAllister's are winners to me after a long day when I just don't want to imagine sticking another dish in the above mentioned item that belongs solely to me.  (See listing #1) lol.

• Blood clots, whether superficial or not, hurt in a way I couldn't really explain.  They suck.  No nice way to put it.  Just thought I would get that out.

• On November 30th of this year, my Dad has been gone 21 years.  Yes, you read that right ~ 21 years.  Where does time go?  I miss him like it was yesterday, but my brain realizes it was further away than that.  I hate that he isn't here to see my children grow, but I know that somehow he does see in his own way.  I am thankful that many family members and new people God placed in our lives stepped up to help all of us threw such a terrible time.  To each of you, and you know who you are, thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

• I feel like a slacker that once again we probably aren't, ok, almost most definitely not, getting out Christmas cards this year.  I always have great hopes and dreams, but like most other things my ideas and actual follow throughs tend to slide through the cracks.  Maybe I should create some sort of mid- winter greeting card ~ after the chaos of Christmas but when the winter is dragging on and seems to never end.  Think of what a surprise it would be to get a greeting card in the middle of January ~ just a thought ~ maybe I should look into marketing this idea.  Or maybe not.  I will probably let that fall through the cracks as well.

• Marriage is tough ~ worth it, but really tough some days.  Seems like when finances are good, marriage is good.  However, when money isn't good you can be assured that there will be rocky times to follow for Chad and I.  I also have decided that those who say money isn't important probably don't have to worry about what bills to pay or what needs to be done for your family of five.  I know as well as anyone that money doesn't make the man ... yada yada yada.  I do know, however, that life seems to flow much smoother when the worry and concern of how you are going to make it is alleviated when financial worries are not a concern. 

• As I am typing this, it is a blazing 16 degrees, with a wind chill making it feel like a whopping 5 degrees outside.  All I want from Santa is a heated matress pad and a heated throw blanket.  And that's all I have to say about that.

Hope this post finds each of you doing well.  I miss everyone tons.  This time of year is so special, and sometimes so heart wrenching all at the same time.  Makes me remember what and who is important in our lives.  And, in my heart, I know I wouldn't be the same without each one of you who occassionally happens, or those who never happen, to read this silly little blog.  Thank you all for loving me enough to help guide me to the place I was supposed to be. 

Happy Holidays, y'all ~ hugs and kisses to each of you.