As I was going through my morning today, I had a moment that helped me out with my blogging predicament. Instead of typing out paragraph after paragraph, I decided I would make a list of things that had occurred to me over the time since my last posting. Not sure that it won't be just as long or even longer, but figured it was worth a shot. I can't say that the following listings will all apply to my 3 weeks blog free, but, I can say that at some point lately these topics have crossed my mind. No guarantees it will be worth reading, but if you know me well enough, well .... lol ... read further if you wish :-)
- Buying makeup for Sierra bothers me in a real sort of way, even if it is just mascara and blush ~ guess it bothers me because she is growing up and I can't stop it. However, buying it for her is better than getting ready in the morning and realizing I have to go find my makeup in her room. I keep forgetting that as a parent, I no longer have anything that belongs to me and only me. Wait ~ maybe the fabulous appliance known as the dishwasher ~ I think that I am still allowed to be solely responsible for that fascinating piece of modern technology that I load and unload at least once, but usually twice daily.
- Nancy Grace and Wayne Brady both annoy me in a serious way ... not exactly sure why. Never the less ~ I can't stand listening or looking at either of them.
- Living so far away from family doesn't get any easier and some days just seems to get worse. I miss those I love so much, and, I hate that our lives are shared over the telephone and not more up close and personal.
- I love lying on the sofa and looking at our Christmas tree. Every ornament reminds me of something and the memories that are usually stirred bring a smile. However, if the ornaments are out of place or not staggered exactly the way I want, then out the door goes the smile until I can fix it the way I envision in my mind that it should be. Even as I read that, that whole concept of a "perfect" tree bothers me. How in the world can I expect the tree to be halfway orderly with toddler twins and a home daycare? LOL .... don't know how in the world, but it still bothers me and I have mentally looked back at the tree just now and see 2 or 3 spots that I need to fix before I can be mentally prepared to enjoy the memories I love to remember.
- I love that Riley working on being fully potty capable means buying less diapers. On the flip side of that thought, I dread the day that both she and Connor are so big that I throw away the last pull ups/diapers we have and grab onto the reality that the phase of diapers and wipes in our lives is over. Don't get me wrong, though .... I love the idea that the $25-30 a week spent on diapers can be spent on something else ... like dinner, for instance. Not that I don't like to cook ~ just way too tired and entirely too lazy to want to cook dinner and do dishes every night of the week. Even 5 nights a week ... or 4 seems like more than I want to do. Call me what you want ~ Wendy's, Taco Bell, "Donald's" or takeout from McAllister's are winners to me after a long day when I just don't want to imagine sticking another dish in the above mentioned item that belongs solely to me. (See listing #1) lol.
- Blood clots, whether superficial or not, hurt in a way I couldn't really explain. They suck. No nice way to put it. Just thought I would get that out.
- On November 30th of this year, my Dad has been gone 21 years. Yes, you read that right ~ 21 years. Where does time go? I miss him like it was yesterday, but my brain realizes it was further away than that. I hate that he isn't here to see my children grow, but I know that somehow he does see in his own way. I am thankful that many family members and new people God placed in our lives stepped up to help all of us threw such a terrible time. To each of you, and you know who you are, thank you from the very bottom of my heart.
- I feel like a slacker that once again we probably aren't, ok, almost most definitely not, getting out Christmas cards this year. I always have great hopes and dreams, but like most other things my ideas and actual follow throughs tend to slide through the cracks. Maybe I should create some sort of mid- winter greeting card ~ after the chaos of Christmas but when the winter is dragging on and seems to never end. Think of what a surprise it would be to get a greeting card in the middle of January ~ just a thought ~ maybe I should look into marketing this idea. Or maybe not. I will probably let that fall through the cracks as well.
- Marriage is tough ~ worth it, but really tough some days. Seems like when finances are good, marriage is good. However, when money isn't good you can be assured that there will be rocky times to follow for Chad and I. I also have decided that those who say money isn't important probably don't have to worry about what bills to pay or what needs to be done for your family of five. I know as well as anyone that money doesn't make the man ... yada yada yada. I do know, however, that life seems to flow much smoother when the worry and concern of how you are going to make it is alleviated when financial worries are not a concern.
- As I am typing this, it is a blazing 16 degrees, with a wind chill making it feel like a whopping 5 degrees outside. All I want from Santa is a heated matress pad and a heated throw blanket. And that's all I have to say about that.
Hope this post finds each of you doing well. I miss everyone tons. This time of year is so special, and sometimes so heart wrenching all at the same time. Makes me remember what and who is important in our lives. And, in my heart, I know I wouldn't be the same without each one of you who occassionally happens, or those who never happen, to read this silly little blog. Thank you all for loving me enough to help guide me to the place I was supposed to be.
Happy Holidays, y'all ~ hugs and kisses to each of you.
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